Ciao, miei amici!
I, Lucia, am very lucky to live in an area that’s surrounded by molti splendidi parchi (many lovely parks).


This makes for eccellente (excellent) opportunities for passegiatta (daily walkies), but it also poses un interessante dilemma (an interesting dilemma) for my high-prey-drive and easily distracted self: i parchi (the parks) are full of fauna selvatica (wildlife) and said wildlife is encroaching on il mio spazio personale (my personal space)!! Santa vacca! (Holy cow!)
It’s bad enough that I have to put up with the constant denounce (complaints) of some very vocale (vocal) bluejays that live in gli alberi (the trees) along my side yard...

or the um, plentiful and icky “gifts” of the of the oh-too-generous Canada geese and mallard ducks that swoop down into the nearby pond...

or the stinky skunks and trash-stealing raccoons that roam around at night as if they own the whole town, or the bunnies that show absolutely no fear when I bark, but just keep chewing calmly on MY grass. BUT THIS! This, miei amici, this was
l’ultima paglia (the last straw) for me
(you may have to biggify the fotografie to see what I’m talking about)

THAT’S RIGHT! Molti grassetti cervi (many bold deer) have invaded il mio quartiere (my neighborhood) and they are afraid of nothing, not even my most robust barking! Just take a look at this Jane Doe that la mia ragazza and I saw during yesterday’s walkies. Hmmph! I stood right there in perfetto (perfect) Airedale stance and growled and yodeled on my leash (heee! I sometimes yodel when I get really wound up!), but she did not even twitch un orecchio (an ear), much less look at me! Of all the nerve! Finally, la mia ragazza clapped her hands and La Signorina Cervo (Miss Deer) turned and calmly loped away. Pllllbbbbbbbbb!! Arrivederci (goodbye)and good riddance!
After that, though, I was so distressed and so determined to sniff everywhere Her Bambi-ness had been that I could not focus on my walkies.



Instead, I just began to pull on my lead until la mia ragazza calmly issued this warning: “LuciaSTOP.” And when I kept pulling anyway, she yanked on my nosey!!!
ON MY DARLING AND CHARMING NOSEY!!

(Note from la mia ragazza: Lucia wears a Gentle Leader collar for walks; it tugs on her nose if she pulls too much. Oh, THAT never happens....)
Ok, but the GOOD part is, once I stopped, she said, “Good girrrrl, Lucia” and I got an ear scritchie and ….

… a delicious Zuke’s Chicken Treat! (Mmmm … chiiiickennnnn. I, Lucia, enjoy poultry of all kinds …)
But the wildlife problem remains and other than jump into the car and leave town...

I am at a loss as to how to resolve it.
Aiuto! (Help!)
Mango, can you spare a squadron of your squirrel fighters to rid my neighborhood of these white-tailed jackals!?! And
Dennis, you have such skill fending off those nefarious gophers; can you send back-up help on a Majik Flying Coaster?
Buster, can you bombard these cloven-hoofed invaders with your Wilsons??
Agatha, Certified Junior Earth Dog, can you root them out like the big rats they are???
Something must be done … but what!?!?! My beautiful and peaceful Lucia-verse is being threatened daily by these very assertive interlopers --
they are taunting me, taunting me, taunting me -- and I just don’t know what to do! Any ideas or solutions you may have, dearest bloggie pals, would be deeply and sincerely appreciated!
Tanti baci!
Lucia