Tuesday, June 30, 2009

Questa è la mia bella lingua AND i miei nuovi amici!

Ciao miei amici!

I nostri piccoli amici (our little friends) the
Rocky Creek Scotties have come up with the coooooooolest "Stick Out Your Tongue" contest and I, Lucia, am delighted to play along! I have already seen many fantastico contest entries and am suitably impressed with each and every one of them. Our bloggieverse is rich with some very grand and magnificent tongue talent!!! (But, um ... one question to the King of the Goobs: do you have tongue extensions!??!?? Santa vacca, il mio amico -- your photos are so very impressive!!)

So, without further delay, I bring you La Lingua di Lucia (Lucia's Tongue) -- a dramatic performance in seven acts:

Puppy tongue

Pllllbbbbbb!! Who-put-this-glue-on-my-ears tongue

Jailbird tongue

Joyful tongue

Bologna tongue

Blleechhhh tongue

Poppysicle tongue ... mmmmmm

And!!! I will post more about this later, but la mia ragazza and I went to visit her papa and her sorella (sister), who is la mia zia Concetta (my Auntie Conni) last week ... and I got to spend the week in doggie day care with THESE pals, who live near il mio nonno (my grandpa)!!! It was FANTASTICO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

This is bellissimo (very beautiful!!) Cache, dolce (sweet) Mick -- a dear Irish Terrier like our amico Keeley -- and Cache's adorabile mama (adorable mom), Alyce. Cache and Alyce are the very first Airedales la mia ragazza ever saw and played with in person. Awwwwww...

But wait, there's more! La mia ragazza and I saw this in a store last week and I made her take a fotografia (photograph) for my enlightened pal, Mango. Don't you think this would help create just the right kind of ambience for his many deep and introspective meditations?? If you biggify the pic, you'll see the box even has his name on it!! How completely perfetto (perfect) is that!?!?!

Tanti baci!


Friday, June 19, 2009

Oh Deer Me!!!!

Ciao, miei amici!

I, Lucia, am very lucky to live in an area that’s surrounded by molti splendidi parchi (many lovely parks).

This makes for eccellente (excellent) opportunities for passegiatta (daily walkies), but it also poses un interessante dilemma (an interesting dilemma) for my high-prey-drive and easily distracted self: i parchi (the parks) are full of fauna selvatica (wildlife) and said wildlife is encroaching on il mio spazio personale (my personal space)!! Santa vacca! (Holy cow!)

It’s bad enough that I have to put up with the constant denounce (complaints) of some very vocale (vocal) bluejays that live in gli alberi (the trees) along my side yard...

or the um, plentiful and icky “gifts” of the of the oh-too-generous Canada geese and mallard ducks that swoop down into the nearby pond...

or the stinky skunks and trash-stealing raccoons that roam around at night as if they own the whole town, or the bunnies that show absolutely no fear when I bark, but just keep chewing calmly on MY grass. BUT THIS! This, miei amici, this was l’ultima paglia (the last straw) for me (you may have to biggify the fotografie to see what I’m talking about)

THAT’S RIGHT! Molti grassetti cervi (many bold deer) have invaded il mio quartiere (my neighborhood) and they are afraid of nothing, not even my most robust barking! Just take a look at this Jane Doe that la mia ragazza and I saw during yesterday’s walkies. Hmmph! I stood right there in perfetto (perfect) Airedale stance and growled and yodeled on my leash (heee! I sometimes yodel when I get really wound up!), but she did not even twitch un orecchio (an ear), much less look at me! Of all the nerve! Finally, la mia ragazza clapped her hands and La Signorina Cervo (Miss Deer) turned and calmly loped away. Pllllbbbbbbbbb!! Arrivederci (goodbye)and good riddance!

After that, though, I was so distressed and so determined to sniff everywhere Her Bambi-ness had been that I could not focus on my walkies.

Instead, I just began to pull on my lead until la mia ragazza calmly issued this warning: “LuciaSTOP.” And when I kept pulling anyway, she yanked on my nosey!!!


(Note from la mia ragazza: Lucia wears a Gentle Leader collar for walks; it tugs on her nose if she pulls too much. Oh, THAT never happens....)

Ok, but the GOOD part is, once I stopped, she said, “Good girrrrl, Lucia” and I got an ear scritchie and ….

… a delicious Zuke’s Chicken Treat! (Mmmm … chiiiickennnnn. I, Lucia, enjoy poultry of all kinds …)

But the wildlife problem remains and other than jump into the car and leave town...

I am at a loss as to how to resolve it. Aiuto! (Help!) Mango, can you spare a squadron of your squirrel fighters to rid my neighborhood of these white-tailed jackals!?! And Dennis, you have such skill fending off those nefarious gophers; can you send back-up help on a Majik Flying Coaster? Buster, can you bombard these cloven-hoofed invaders with your Wilsons?? Agatha, Certified Junior Earth Dog, can you root them out like the big rats they are???

Something must be done … but what!?!?! My beautiful and peaceful Lucia-verse is being threatened daily by these very assertive interlopers -- they are taunting me, taunting me, taunting me -- and I just don’t know what to do! Any ideas or solutions you may have, dearest bloggie pals, would be deeply and sincerely appreciated!

Tanti baci!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Monday, June 8, 2009

La Morta Anatra

Doing Away with the Doldrums by Doing in the Duck

Ciao miei amici!

I just didn't know what to do with myself today. It was too hot to play outside for very long and la mia ragazza seemed to spend more time with the washy machine and the 'puter than she did her darling gingery Lucia. Pllllbbbbbbll!!
Giving me ear scritchies is better exercise for la mia ragazza's fingers than typing on the 'puter!!! Wait until you see how I took care of THAT ..... heeeeeeee!!!

Oh, la mattina (the morning) began with great promise, to be sure: I had some squisito (delicious) yogurt in my kibble AND got to lick il cucchiaio (the spoon) so lots of the yogurt got into my beard while a little dab landed on my charming nose, provoking a round of magnificent sneezing (aaaaaaaaaaachooo!). Then, once my breakfast had settled and I had visited some – ahem – private areas in my yardie, la mia ragazza and I played relay toss-and-catch with some of my stuffies and tennis balls, including the Big Blue Wubba ball – which, after an invigorating workout with my efficient white teeth, was fully freed from its blue Wubbaness. Yet despite my rough handling, it still maintained its delightfully ticklish voice:

After I spent several moments of listening to my blueless Wubba ball and my AirSqueaker ball sing, despair set in. I shuffled around mia casa (my house) in search of something else to do. Yawwwwwwwnnnnn.

I went outside and barked for a while … ho hummmmm ... then made a quick check on Little Pompeii and while I was there, innocently minding my own beeswax, la mia ragazza snuck up and …

FURMINATED ME! Santa vacca!

It was too hot and hoooomid to stay outside for long, so I came back inside and thought about body slamming through the doors of la mia ragazza’s office, something I think about doing a blue million times a day but rarely attempt to actually try. Why?? Because the doors are always being guarded by the hateful, malevolent, evil red sucky monster,*** which inhales adorable Lucia fluffs that have gone AWOL, so I exercise great caution near it (….grrrrrrr…..)

(NOTE from Lucia's ragazza: I keep the vacuum in front of my office doors on purpose. Lucia hates the vac, which keeps her from slamming through the doors and grabbing whatever she can from my desk.It’s more effective than a deadbolt lock.)

Finally, I decided to take a nap and curled up on the cool tile floor in the kitchen …zzzzzzzzz

I woke up a little while later, invigorated and refreshed, spotted my gialla anatra (yellow duck) and wandered over to chat with him a bit. But once I got up close and sniffed his sweet ducky smell, I decided I should give him a bacio (smoochie) … and then … well, one thing led to another and … um, you can see for yourself:
(Icky blanket alert! It looked better in the IKEA catalog than it did on the guest bed -- but now it does a good job of protecting the cushions from my paws!)

OH, THE DUCK-MANITY! OH, THE CANARD-AGE! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

But even after ALL THAT the little yellow guy still had something to say! Listen:

At first, la mia ragazza thought I was channeling the duck, but really -- giggle!!! -- I just had the duck’s voice box and was making it talk. She took it away and put it up high on the shelf where I couldn’t reach it. Booooo!

Alas, poor ducky ... I knew you well....

Tanti baci!

PeeEss! Two important things are happening on Tuesday -- first, I, Lucia, am spending the morning at the spa for a bubble bath and summer grooming. And second, the Dell computer service technician is stopping by to install a new keyboard in la mia ragazza's 'puter. I chewed up the "J" key this afternoon! Heeeeeeeeee!!!!

Friday, June 5, 2009


Ciao, miei amici!

Eccomi! (Here I am!) At long last, I, Lucia, have returned to the bloggieverse!

Why have I been so out of touch lately, you ask?




La mia ragazza, a.k.a THE REIGNING QUEEN OF THE SLACKERS, wants you to know that A) she was away, traveling and B) upon her return, she came down with the flooooooooo and has been sick as un cane (a dog) (wait …. why do hoomans say that??) with a sore throat and achies and a hurty head. To that, I say … big deal!!! I, Lucia, have been waiting, waiting, waiting patiently for her to stop eating poppysicles and going through tissues like a swarm of locuste (locusts) in a cornfield to UPDATE MY BLOGGIE, already!!
Hey, how about updating my bloggie?????


Alas, to no avail! So, in la mia noia (my boredom),

I looked for things to do since it was clear to me that SHE would rather have a personal rapporto (relationship) with Auntie Byotics than with her most darlingest of ‘dales. First, I laid waste to my adored giocattoli (toys), vanquishing my pink Puppy Wubba -- the preferred plaything of my youth -- and exposing its squeaky innards before focusing my attention on its brother, the Big Blue Wubba. I surgically removed their code (tails), amusing myself for a while with the gentle, feathery nosey tickles of the Wubbas’ frayed edges. Aaaaaachoooo!!!! I also de-stuffed tre (three) of my loofah stuffies, including this gurrrrly pink one.

But these small expenditures of compressed Airedalius Lucius energia (energy) were simply not enough to stave off the bad case of la-mia-ragazza-less doldrums that had descended upon me like a smothery gray nuvola (cloud), so I sought other diversions. And when la mia ragazza clipped me to the outside lead yesterday morning so I could tan my gingery furs in the beautiful sunshine, I saw a fabulous opportunity for physical exertion and mental stimulation: A new archaeological scavo (excavation)!!!!

So ... while you-know-flooooo dozed off in the lawn chair, steeped in NyQuil (zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz) and with a death-grip on her casella di tessuti (box of tissues), I, Lucia—at last free from my ennui-ness, stealthily began … to … dig.

Who, me? Digging? Noooooo, I was just taking a nap ... my nosey is always dusty like this ....

Oh, the unmitigated joy of plunging paw to earth! The exquisite velvety feel of dirt beneath my nails! The olfactory overload on the super-sized Airedalius Lucius nose as it dipped into sun-dappled ground! Hello, buggies! Hello, wormies! Hello, shrubbie roots! Hello, squirrel-buried-acorns! I, Lucia, am here to free you from your terra firma shackles!!! Heeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!

La mia ragazza woke up long enough to capture the action, so I am able to present to everydoggie, kitteh, hammie and hooman, this clip, my very first viddie posting (we hope this works…..!!!), which I have entitled “Piccolo (little)Pompeii – The Joy of the Dig”:

Note how I not only excavated the dirt, but also removed patio mattoni (bricks), too! Oh, I certainly have a future in architecture AND archaeology, there can be no doubt!

Of course, once la mia ragazza discovered the depth (heeeeee!!!) and scope of my project, she became more animated than Disney’s “Fantasia.” So much for the calming effects of NyQuil! She was so upsetted that it even drove away the Canada Goosey mama and her children,

and NOTHING KNOWN TO MANKIND OR DOGKIND drives them away once they’ve settled in your neighborhood! Santa vacca, send me back to the kennel**, already – I just can’t take the melodrama!

Tanti baci!

**Yes, you heard me correctly: the kennel! While la mia ragazza was away, I, Lucia, was boarded with a congenial pack of otherdoggies at the kennel. Oh, what fun! I got to romp in the doggie playground with Jonny the Vizsla – who so closely resembled our bloggie pal, Dennis, that I kept asking Jonny, “Hey, are you SURE your name isn’t Dennis the Vizsla? No? Ok bye!” -- and I bunked next to a Golden Retriever buddy who reminded me of Paco, Milo AND Mason Dixie! There was a white poodle that looked like a scaled-down Sunny, a Chihuahua who reminded me of my beloved amico, Rambo, and a Goldendoodle who was the very image of Clive. (I was the lone terrierierrrr!) While there, I got to go for walkies around a big pond and indulge in a new flavor of Kong stuffie – BEEF!! Mmmmmm!!! La mia ragazza had extreme frets over leaving me at the kennel (which I will later use to my advantage, bwah-ah-ah!), but candidly everybloggie, I had a fantastico time!

PeeEss: I post this picture

for our new pupster pal, Miro, who recently had his ‘dale ears glued. This is me, Lucia, the day I had my ears glued by my breeder. La mia ragazza gets all teary when she sees fotografie (photos) of me as a young pup … sigh. I swear, she is an emotional wreck sometimes … not to mention THE REIGNING QUEEN OF THE SLACKERS!!!!!