Friday, June 19, 2009

Oh Deer Me!!!!

Ciao, miei amici!

I, Lucia, am very lucky to live in an area that’s surrounded by molti splendidi parchi (many lovely parks).

This makes for eccellente (excellent) opportunities for passegiatta (daily walkies), but it also poses un interessante dilemma (an interesting dilemma) for my high-prey-drive and easily distracted self: i parchi (the parks) are full of fauna selvatica (wildlife) and said wildlife is encroaching on il mio spazio personale (my personal space)!! Santa vacca! (Holy cow!)

It’s bad enough that I have to put up with the constant denounce (complaints) of some very vocale (vocal) bluejays that live in gli alberi (the trees) along my side yard...

or the um, plentiful and icky “gifts” of the of the oh-too-generous Canada geese and mallard ducks that swoop down into the nearby pond...

or the stinky skunks and trash-stealing raccoons that roam around at night as if they own the whole town, or the bunnies that show absolutely no fear when I bark, but just keep chewing calmly on MY grass. BUT THIS! This, miei amici, this was l’ultima paglia (the last straw) for me (you may have to biggify the fotografie to see what I’m talking about)

THAT’S RIGHT! Molti grassetti cervi (many bold deer) have invaded il mio quartiere (my neighborhood) and they are afraid of nothing, not even my most robust barking! Just take a look at this Jane Doe that la mia ragazza and I saw during yesterday’s walkies. Hmmph! I stood right there in perfetto (perfect) Airedale stance and growled and yodeled on my leash (heee! I sometimes yodel when I get really wound up!), but she did not even twitch un orecchio (an ear), much less look at me! Of all the nerve! Finally, la mia ragazza clapped her hands and La Signorina Cervo (Miss Deer) turned and calmly loped away. Pllllbbbbbbbbb!! Arrivederci (goodbye)and good riddance!

After that, though, I was so distressed and so determined to sniff everywhere Her Bambi-ness had been that I could not focus on my walkies.

Instead, I just began to pull on my lead until la mia ragazza calmly issued this warning: “LuciaSTOP.” And when I kept pulling anyway, she yanked on my nosey!!!


(Note from la mia ragazza: Lucia wears a Gentle Leader collar for walks; it tugs on her nose if she pulls too much. Oh, THAT never happens....)

Ok, but the GOOD part is, once I stopped, she said, “Good girrrrl, Lucia” and I got an ear scritchie and ….

… a delicious Zuke’s Chicken Treat! (Mmmm … chiiiickennnnn. I, Lucia, enjoy poultry of all kinds …)

But the wildlife problem remains and other than jump into the car and leave town...

I am at a loss as to how to resolve it. Aiuto! (Help!) Mango, can you spare a squadron of your squirrel fighters to rid my neighborhood of these white-tailed jackals!?! And Dennis, you have such skill fending off those nefarious gophers; can you send back-up help on a Majik Flying Coaster? Buster, can you bombard these cloven-hoofed invaders with your Wilsons?? Agatha, Certified Junior Earth Dog, can you root them out like the big rats they are???

Something must be done … but what!?!?! My beautiful and peaceful Lucia-verse is being threatened daily by these very assertive interlopers -- they are taunting me, taunting me, taunting me -- and I just don’t know what to do! Any ideas or solutions you may have, dearest bloggie pals, would be deeply and sincerely appreciated!

Tanti baci!


Khyra The Siberian Husky And Sometimes Her Mom said...

Sorry fur the invasion!

How woo tried charming them?


Martha Basset said...

You have to come walks with us - we are always sniffing out the deer and wanting to chase them. Sometimes we do disappear after them and it can take hours for our mum to find us.
Perhaps if we went after them together we would get them!
Martha & Bailey xxx

Baby Rocket Dog and Hootie said...

Lucia Sweetie, We totally feel for ya! There was one of those vixens on our driveway today and mommy made me come back in when I started to chase her. bllaaahhhhh. They just don't know their place. Same goes for the annoying turkeys. Sad to hear of your invasion. We thought you were a city girl!
AireKisses & WelshieHugs,
BabyRD & Hootie

Rocky Creek Scottie Adventures said...

Even though the deer are beautiful and graceful, our peeps hate them. They destroy so much!!! Don't chase them our way.

Lilly, Piper, Carrleigh and Java

Scruffy, Lacie and Stanley's Place said...

Oh Lucia...we feel your pain...we've had Psycho Bambi for the last two years in our yardie...she chases us...she was worse last year...they go totally bonkers right when their fawns are born...

And your mom pulled ur sweet nosie???? How could she? Of course you had to protect the neighborhood!!! We get the same awful treatment when we tug too...sigh...

We never thought of hiring Agatha...the deer do look like big rats!!!

Love ya lots...


Agatha and Archie said...

Woo boy this is a tough job....We have to think about this one... I mean you can't dig and go crazy while you dig( thus scaring the pants off of the enemy) because he is above ground...We are going to have to have a talk and get back to you..Meanwhile just stare at it and growl and stuff....and snarl...Love and kisses A+A

Dennis the Vizsla said...

hello lucia its dennis the vizsla dog hay hmmm deer eh??? thats a big problem indeed hmmm wot to do wot to do ummmmm ok first things first ummmmm wot is a deer eksaktly??? is it sum sort of rodent??? ok bye

Maggie and Mitch said...

We had a deer in our yard yesterday! She was practically looking in the computer room window at us! You are so right, Lucia - they are wayyyyyyyyy to bold!

Love ya lots,
Maggie and Mitch

Noah the Airedale said...

Goodness me, there are so many creatures in your neck of the woods Lucia. What if the deer wander onto the road. They might get hit my a car. That would be very sad.
We love the last photo of you sitting in the car. You look so sweet.

Noah Willow Tess Lucy

Lorenza said...

Hi, Lucia!
Sure you have there very interesting creatures!
I have no advice for you. Here I only see boring birds that don't let me catch them!
Kisses and hugs

Hamish Westie said...

Chill out my darling! Every cloud has a silver lining. You now have an 'eccellente' opportunity to engage in one of life's most pleasurable activities. A good, long, luxuriant roll in some of the best smelling poo on the planet. Eau de Deer. Forget Chanel No.5.

And I'm sure your Ragazza will love it too!

Cheers, H.

Nelly said...

We saw a deer when we were on holidays last month. We too were VERY 'xcited and tried to race after it but Mummy said NOOO!
You have lovely areas to go walkies Lucia. Where we go walkies we sometimes see deer but they are very shy. I once found a deer leg - boy, was I proud!
Nelly xx

Persephone and Buster said...

hmmmmm we did a post but it just didn't post...poof!!! into cyberspace. the "post dragon" ate it. ah well... we thought the deer was an interesting thing...when we go to the park in valley forge on montgomery weekend we get to see them -- LOTS -- of them. the humomm puts theBUSTER on a 50 foot lead and practices the "really reliable recall" <--- and he comes back so I guess it's really reliable! but mostly they play with the wilson -- to get him all run out before going back to the show site. can google leslie nelson and "really realiable recall"...and then your ragazza can let you move those deer!! w/your longy legs you'll have them shaking in their cloven hoof
s.. :O). uhhh just a small note... i, Ms.Persephone did not "learn" the recall.... i feel it is beneath me, the humomm is shaking her head...she would call and i would say, "are YOU talking to ME?"...i don't do recall -- the other two i'll just follow them!
sometimes i do what she wants though...and she says "She's lucky she's cute!"
Ms.Persephone & Ms.Blue (she is soooo contrary) and theBUSTER ---->PEEess my sister lives up to her "empress of the underworld" name.

Clive said...

Lots of deer near us too but I'm not allowed anywhere near them!!

Eric said...

Lucia,the cheeky little not so very dear little deers.I know their cousins who live roam in my parks. One chased ME n the leggededs the other day,Momma Mia. Square Daddy told her she was going in the pot with a couple of cloves of garlic if she didn't quit.Didn't work but you could try it. Quote an eeetalian venison recipe at her. See what happens. Oh and remember to eat those scrumptious poopy presents she leaves everywhere. And the ducks, specially the Canada geese one - though they are excellent to roll in too non?

Wiry loves and kissies on your sweet little nosey. Eric xxxx

TwoSpecialWires said...

Well, we noticed you didn't ask for our services in helping you eradicate the intruders in your neighborhood. It must be known all over blogland now that we are gentle softies. At least for now, the deer are our friends. And the ducks and geese and bunnies. That's not to say that we don't take off on an occasional charge, but they're usually encouraged by our humines. Are we a lost cause?

Jake and Fergs

Faya said... deer here in my country...but it looks interesting...can you send me one ?
Kisses, Faya

Mango said...

What's the problem? Sounds like an Airedale theme park to me. Enjoy!


Sally said...

Wow - you have some very large interlopers. I would chase it and then roll around in its 'presents' that it leaves. Then use the car or D's bed as a flannel and wipe it all off. Paddy would try and bum smack it - but I fear neither would help rid you of the menace.

Perhaps you could bring an iPod and some speakers and play Opera music really loudly - Or as you have a lovely yodelling voice - perhaps a few Verdi Arias would do the trick?

i like the idea of reciting a venison recipe too - maybe throw garlic at them to really highlight the message?

Not sure if we have been helpful - but we enjoyed the photos.

Lots of licks
Sally and Paddy